When I think of the Beach I think of my secret idea to live one day by the sea. I think of last year when I did it and how hard it was to let go of this experience…And how light I feel now, knowing that when the time will be right I will wake up again near the sea (or maybe even on it).
Stories of today’s carpooling: a young family with 3 children who is buying a new house, a 74-year old woman with a strong spirit who left her husband and the country of origin behind after 52 years of marriage and my family trying to clean and sell my grandparents’ house. Coming, leaving and living in a limbo – what do they have in common? Moving.
Some of my closest people said that I have changed. (Let’s be honest, everyone is changing every day, every minute, some simply more visibly and consciously than others).
Indeed, I have. The past year has been on of the most turbulent so far and I needed time to recover. There was something different today, it was the Look. The Look of someone who let go of a big thing. And apparently the fact that I wore black which I never do.
By the end of the day I realised that I was subconsciously saying goodbye to a relationship that…if I think well, lasted exactly 3.5 years. 3.5 very intense years. In the beginning I had no expectations, I met her through friends as I needed a change and a place to stay. Very quickly she got under my skin. She became my definition of home as I was coming back to her after every trip (and there were many). She was there in my life-changing moments, throughout all my ups and downs, witnessing so many stories, broken hearts and transformations. She was always there and I kept returning.
My biggest dream was to live by the sea so I moved to a small Mediterranean town for a long summer. Of course, after the moving our relationship transformed, it is not the same visiting on the weekends and holidays or actually full-time living. In autumn it was time to let go and in the beginning it wasn’t easy: leaving was not part of the plan. With time I came to see that it was inevitable, it was time to move on. I left already a few months ago and although it has been less than 2 months since I have emptied the apartment today is the day when I feel that I left for real: I came back to take my bike. This bike was standing there for months and last week I recognised that it was a secret sign of a part of me still living there. Or so I interpreted my subconscious motivations.
As I was walking away from the apartment on the liveliest street in town, passing the galleries, the market and a beautiful square I enjoyed the fresh sea air mixed with the smell of blooming flowers. I embraced gratitude for everything that happened There, everything that was in that very moment and everything that is yet to come anywhere in the world. I felt that every step had a huge importance, more than leaving I felt I was going towards a new life. It will never be the same again. Sure, I guess I will come back but it will be different. I will be different. And so will everyone and everything else.
It is time to let go and start writing a new Life on a blank piece of paper.
So long.. https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=F2zTd_YwTvo