There come times when we need to rebuild our lives.
Some time ago I have found a perfect apartment. When I let go of the search I found everything that I needed. In the loveliest part of the city, completely different to anything I have seen so far. Everyone I know has been in love with this area and now I finally understand why. Everything is just a walking distance away… The birds are singing all around and some friendly neighbours have the cutest dog that makes me smile every time I pass by. All in all, a fairytale.
Yes, of course there is a but 🙂
There was a crack in the kitchen ceiling (due to a flood upstairs).
The other day we talked with a friend about a situation that has been bothering her for months. She admitted that it’s like the situation with my apartment: everything is perfect until she looks up.
A scar in a seemingly perfect relationship was just like a crack in our ceiling.
So she continues to live with that scar just as we continue to live in this apartment… Until it all falls down from the sky.
So are we silently waiting?
As I am writing this, the crack is getting bigger from minute to minute.
Some workers came to tear the ceiling down so that tomorrow the professionals can do their work (although we keep hearing “tomorrow” for some weeks now).
It is not the most pleasant feeling to hear all the material falling.
We even thought whether it was a good idea to let them do that.
Just imagine, how you feel when the sky of your home is literally falling down.
(It is not just about a crack in the ceiling! It is about everything that this new home represents, among others, the ultimate safety that is obviously just another illusion. It opens questions like what is Home and how come it easier for some to find it and live it than others.)
Yes, there is a but again. Instead of fear we chose trust.
There is nothing we can do anymore.
Nothing but surrender.
As they left, we came to the kitchen…and we avoided looking up for a few seconds.
Then we did.
And it was not as bad as we thought!
It was like an open scar, you can see everything.
The part that could fall on our heads was really heavy and this can make you think even more…
This happens to all of us: when there is nothing holding the situation back…either the ceiling falls on its own or we (get someone to) tear it down (if it’s not too late for that).
There are people that put away the pain that will sooner or later track them down and there are others that go and deal with it.
There is no right or wrong.
The ceiling keeps on giving signs and when it all falls off.
And there we stand…with an open scar.
Looking at all the mess.
Realising that… it is actually all OK.
And that whatever happens, it will be all OK.
There came a point when everything seemed to be funny and we could not stop laughing, making jokes about the situation that was everything but funny. It was great, at least we know how to smile even in situations like this.
(They are supposed to fix the ceiling tomorrow morning. Let’s see what happens.
We are thinking whether we should pretend that we didn’t hear unknown drops in the kitchen. OK, we went to check and it was dry coffee-size poo.)
There come times when we need to rebuild something. And sometimes we start with the ceiling rather than the floor – however, somebody’s ceiling is somebody else’s floor.
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